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Joke of the Day

"Olympic track makes you feel like you witnesed a crime, because you hear a gunshot and then see a bunch of black guys hauling ass."

"Sometimes love is like having one too many drinks....you feel so good that you don't notice you're making a fool of yourself."

"A midget walks into a bar I guess it was set too low"

"I met this amazing girl while speed dating. We stayed up all night and day just talking and giggling and I guess speed will do that to you."

"What is the difference between the Pope and acne? Acme doesn't come on to your face until after 13."

"What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !"

"Text your dad ""egg salad sandwich"" four times in one day. He'll probably think his phone is broken."

"Why do most black men's eyes appear bloodshot after sex? Mace."

"Manager Cracks a Joke. Everyone in the team laughs except one guy. Manager asks "" Didn't you understand the joke "". The guy replies "" I resigned yesterday """

"No, I'm not damaging my liver. I'm about to sterilize it using alcohol."