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Joke of the Day

"Text your dad ""egg salad sandwich"" four times in one day. He'll probably think his phone is broken."

"What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked in to the office? I can clearly see ""you're"" nuts...."

"How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but he has to manufacture it first."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic, homosexual rooster? Dude'll do a cock!"

"are u nervous? do u hav nerves? dont wory. just take a deep breath. BUT NOT TOO DEEP!!! dont want ur lungs to pop. dont want that to hapen"

"Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it."

"I asked my wife what women really want and she said ""attentive lovers""... ...actually she might have said ""A tent of lovers"", I don't really listen to her needs and opinions."

"What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant ? An animal that tells you everything that it remembers !"

"I want to open i pizza place called Original Pizza, so that way if anybody asks if we deliver... yes, OP delivers."

"Remember when people uses Chuck Norris jokes? They all died because of unknown source :)"