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Joke of the Day

"I met this amazing girl while speed dating. We stayed up all night and day just talking and giggling and I guess speed will do that to you."

"What did one British tampon say to the other British tampon? We're bloody-well stuffed."

"I met a girl with 12 nipples... Sounds funny Dozen tit?"

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea Because if they flew over the bay then they would be bagels"

"""Well ... I'll be dammed."" Bodies of water when they see beavers coming."

"UGH, I was planning this big romantic dinner for two and then my wife called to say she'd be home."

"Your parents didn't even want you... You would have been a blowjob if your mom had change for that $20."

"Why was Samuel L. Jackson picking up ladies outside of the abortion clinic? Because he's a bad mother fucker."

"The key to comedy? Perfect del ivery"

"I have a dark sense of humor but being a normally good person, *people don't see it.*"