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Joke of the Day

"Who were the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. Went through 87 stories in 10 seconds flat."

"With as much as Adobe nags me to update, I feel like I should have its surname and be making it sandwiches all the time."

"I, for one... is a roman numeral."

"I think my neighbor is stalking me through her computer, because I've seen her google my name. I'm certain I saw it on my telescope last night."

"Satan: And this is the TV room. Me: This isn't so bad. *turns on TV* *only thing showing is golf*"

"Do you like pork hocks? * Do you like pork hocks in your mouth? * You're a gay pig."

"God does exist If you're North Korean"

"What is Batman's favorite porn site? Motherless.com"

"A hipster just darted in front of me in traffic. I almost didn't see him because he was so ironic."

"I worked at a restaurant It didn't pay much, but at least it put food on the table."