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Joke of the Day

"Satan: And this is the TV room. Me: This isn't so bad. *turns on TV* *only thing showing is golf*"

"Today I Fucked Up... the couch"

"Current life status - By the time I figure out what nostril is plugged, it jumps to the other side."

"Wife: y is a penguin w an umbrella in the- Me:*points to dog dressed as batman* so Bark Wayne isnt bored W: M: he needs an arch enemy, Karen"

"Just saw a French footballer playing Nintendo Think it was Thierry on Wii"

"Why did Karl Marx like going to continental Europe so much? Because they did not have proper tea."

"What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table."

"*passive aggressively cuts your birthday cake asymmetrically*"

"why are blonde jokes so short so brunettes can rember them"

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar... ...well it could happen."