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Joke of the Day

"With as much as Adobe nags me to update, I feel like I should have its surname and be making it sandwiches all the time."

"My boss told me to dress for the job I want; not the job I have. I'm now in a disciplinary meeting for wearing my Batman costume to work."

"Why do the people in front of me at the ATM always seems to be having some sort of damn major financial crisis?"

"My doctor diagnosed me with premature ejaculation and diarrhea. I feel like I'm always coming and going."

"What do you call a gushing keyboard? sqwerty"

"how do you keep bacon from curling in the pan? You take away their tiny brooms."

"Stephen is a much nicer name than ""hen from a previous marriage."""

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a homicidal rapist."

"YOGA CLASS INSTRUCTOR: And now we go into downward dog *loud thud GARY WHO IS A T-REX: I'm ok. I'm ok. It's just a bloody nose."

"What do you call a lost nun? A Roman Catholic"