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Joke of the Day

"I think my neighbor is stalking me through her computer, because I've seen her google my name. I'm certain I saw it on my telescope last night."

"Well, I've reached that awkward t-shirt size between 'XL' and 'killing myself.'"

"Why are condoms transparent?"

"From my girlfriend's boss: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? The porcupine has pricks on the outside."

"My sex life is like a Wild West saloon... Liquor in the front, poker in the rear"

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? Yes? How'd you get their little legs apart? (Courtesy of my dad. Who laughed about this for 30 minutes.)"

"Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris threw a grenade and 50 people died, then the grenade exploded."

"Wanna hear a knock knock joke? Two men walk into a bar. (credit to my friend who has no Reddit account)"

"I love Mondays... It's when I take my weekly sarcasm class."

"What kind of bee will not take credit for his contributions? A Humblebee."