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Joke of the Day

"Today I tried to remove a bandage I couldn't pull it off"

"A new musical artist... Another blond this time. Miranda Lambert"

"i look like i'm trying to get water out of my ears when i dance"

"How do astronomers organize a party? They planet."

"What's the difference between an Asian and a dumb white girl? The Asian try to get the A, but the white girl try to get the D"

"I once knew a soldier who suffered through both mustard gas and pepper spray. He was a seasoned veteran."

"What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it? An old man yelling at the cloud"

"DOCTOR: I have bad news MAN WHO WOKE UP FROM 5 YR COMA: I don't mind as long as I get to see my favorite gorilla from the Cincinnati zoo"

"What would my hippie side be doing right now? I already know that"

"I ate some crickets last night. Gave me the runs."