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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Western Kentucky professor who kissed the door goodbye and slammed his wife as he went by?"

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was out-standing in his field."

"A girl who lives hundreds of miles away texting you ""I'm drunk"" is like a lasagna texting you from Italy saying ""I'm delicious"""

"Who was the best boxer of all time? Jim Jones. He knocked out 909 people with one punch."

"Star Wars Force Awakens joke Im Seriously concerned about new star wars. If this continues, Well then im very interested, How will the Rey with her training, run with Old Skywalker on her back"

"3-year-old: I can't run as fast as everybody else. Me: Why not? 3-year-old: I don't have enough feet."

"When the president is lonely what does he say? I'm Obama-self."

"He's a few clowns short of a circus. "

"[During sex] Me: I know you want me to be ""naughty"", but I can barely breathe in this Hamburglar costume."

"Yesterday Bill Clinton called Hillary, ""the ablest person I've ever worked with."" Well, I can see why he's a hit with the ladies."