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Joke of the Day

"When the president is lonely what does he say? I'm Obama-self."

"Calm down shouty museum man. I think it's pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton."

"A math teacher ask his students, ""What is 5Q + 5Q?"" The class responds, ""10Q."" The teacher responds, ""You're welcome/"""

"What's brown and sticky. A stick."

"Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool"

"I'm confused, if all these rappers really are the genuine article like they claim, then who are all these phonies they keep talking about?"

"[Working in a hospital] ME: Well, this guy's autopsy is done NURSE: You mean tonsillectomy ME: Uh oh"

"Why girls live longer than boys???? SHOPPING"" never causes HEART ATTACKS, but,""PAYING the ""BILLS"" does"

"Why'd the band teacher go to jai? Because he fingered A-minor"

"""You're so cold, I wished you would just disappear!"" His temperature then dropped to 0 Kelvin and he disappeared"