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Joke of the Day
"A single text to my mom is like pulling that loose thread on a sweater."
Next Joke
"What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk? Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant."
"Yo son, do you like nachos? ""Hell yeah!"" *son goes in for high 5* That's good, 'cause I'm nacho real dad *rejects high 5* You're adopted lol"
"Cats always have an expression like they ordered 2 of everything on Amazon with your credit card while you were at work."
"Customer: ""I'm running Windows '95."" Tech: ""Yes."" Customer: ""My computer isn't working now."" Tech: ""Yes you said that."""
"How did Rihanna know Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found the other girls lipstick on his knuckles."
"Do you know Mike? Mike ock"
"Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk."
"Yes, I've been in love before. I've also had salmonella poisoning and you don't see me running back for seconds."
"What type of punch hurts kids the most? A sandy hook"