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Joke of the Day

"I feel like I could beat a polygraph test every time I tell someone that I'll make sure to return the Tupperware that the dish came in."

"DR DOG: *gives kid patient a sucker* MOM: what do u say KID: thanks mr dog DD: kid I didnt go to med school for 56 years to be called Mr Dog"

"I tripped over the dog a second ago and am hurting a little.Web md has it narrowed down to a sprained uterus or a dislocated cervix. So.."

"Do you know the difference between browsing Reddit and having sex? No? Well, keep on browsing Reddit."

"We play cop games because my boyfriend likes to ""discharge his weapon."""

"What is the difference between jam & jelly? I can't jelly my dick in her ass..."

"Why did the cowboy want a Weiner dog? To get a long little doggy."

"Hey, do you like analogies? I got plenty! I got analogy to rabbits, analogy to grass, analogy to mold..."

"What do they call the Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with Cheese."

"I just rolled a joint... Now my ankle hurts Edit: You did not expect that!"