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Joke of the Day

"Which is the worst hand to lose? The second one."

"What do Japanese men do when they have erections? Vote"

"*writes 'amount to something' on bucket list* *crosses it out* *writes 'mount something'* Yeah. That's do-able."

"Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions ? Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here !"

"Feeling pretty tough lately and thinking about joining a gang. Any of you guys need an accountant?"

"Cheap prostitutes are like coffee If you put your dick in them it's gonna burn"

"I'm sure there'll be some making distasteful jokes about Williams' death. How annoying for them that he would have thought of funnier ones."

"""Give me 'bored.' Give me 'late for lunch.' Scowl at a tree. Scowl at a tree. Look at a bird like you hate it."" - book jacket photographers."

"COP: ""Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"" ME: ""It was way easier than solving a murder?"""

"Rick Astley is such a nice guy He'll let you borrow any of his Disney Pixar DVD collection! Except Up! He's Never Gonna Give You Up"