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Joke of the Day

"Love is blind, only marriage opens your eyes."

"Boss: Can you send the documents Me: I am sinking in the muck of a swamp of ancient pain Boss: Ok just don't forget to send the documents"

"If we can afford to have armed guard for our money at the banks, surely we can afford to have armed guards for our kids at schools. Where are your priorities people?"

"What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!"

"before x-rays doctors had to climb inside people and draw a picture of their bones. some still do"

"Why are Catholics the worst drivers? They always pull out at the last second (usually to avoid a child)."

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me? Both! Now get in the fucking van."

"Inside everybody there's a still, small voice seeking to guide them on their journey through life. It was put there by the CIA."

"Why do people leave letters at the football ground ? They want to catch the last goal-post !"

"The Barber of Seville by Aaron Floor"