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Joke of the Day
"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me? Both! Now get in the fucking van."
Next Joke
"Keep your friends close and your enemies in urns."
"There's something mentally wrong with people who ask other parents if their baby isn't the cutest baby they've ever seen"
"Deer What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea What do you call a deer with no legs no eyes and no dick? Still no fucking ides"
"Doctor: Well ma'am looks like you're pregnant. Woman: I'm pregnant? Doctor: No it just looks like you are."
"What flower loves to be in the sun? Sunflower."
"What's the difference between a paddling pool and a swimming pool? Deep ends really."
"Why did the dog bark? because its a dog"
"What do you call a sinking ship full of condiments? Sinko de Mayo"
"Whats the difference between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath tub. One has hope in her soul, while the other has soap in her hole."