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Joke of the Day

"Why are Catholics the worst drivers? They always pull out at the last second (usually to avoid a child)."

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"How fast can you travel in any direction in an airport? Terminal velocity."
"Jeff and Don are singing deck the halls.... When they both suddenly die part way through the song. They are reincarnated as ass-less chaps. Jeff looks over and says: ""Don, we now are gay apparel."""
"Psychologist: Let's play a word association game. I'll say a word, you say what springs to mind Rainbows Me: I hope my ex dies in a fire."
"What is flat, at the center of the universe, and warming?"
"Broken toilet = Bad shituation."
"The odds of Jesus coming a second time are about the same as those of ANY man coming a second time. #amirightladies"
"""Shit, I have to go."" - Yoda, Jedi Master Humorist, iChat"
"I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice."
"I accidentally left the refrigerator open while watching Game of Thrones (SPOILERS EVERTHING)"
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