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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fish with three eyes? fiiish. (works when spoken :-/)"

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine. Why was seven afraid of eight? Induction."

"If Tiger Wood and Princess Diana played a round of golf who would win? Tiger Woods! because he has a better driver! I'll be in hell if you need me."

"What does a baby look like after a minute in the microwave? I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate."

"Know why I make my pot brownies with chocolate laxatives? For shits and giggles."

"I heard netflix is going to start putting ads in the middle of shows Netflix and shill"

"You know what pisses me off? Amber Alerts It's like, life is depressing enough as it is so hearing about someone else getting laid just isn't helpful."

"Put the punchline in the title. How do you ruin a joke?"

"Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00"

"So I went to a restaurant called Bukkake the other day... WAY too much sauce on everything."