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Joke of the Day

"If Tiger Wood and Princess Diana played a round of golf who would win? Tiger Woods! because he has a better driver! I'll be in hell if you need me."

"Sir Im sorry I rear ended you but I was focused on not accidentally eating a purple jelly bean and you're handling this really insensitively"

"A restaurant patron complained about the limited dessert selection, and an Irish man turned his head to respond. What was the complaint? **Flan AGAIN?!**"

"Badly built roofs... Are exactly why I have truss issues"

"A hipster just darted in front of me in traffic. I almost didn't see him because he was so ironic."

"[OC] What did the disgruntled barber give to the prince? A bad heir day."

"""Roses are red, violets are blue, fuck you whore."""

"It's wrong! If gay marriage is legal who will stop me marrying this painting of a horse. This majestic painting. Who will stop me kissing it"

"Sometimes I open my mouth and a dad joke falls out and we both just need to walk away from that and remember better times ok"

"An American tourist found himself in a sleepy country village and asked one of the locals the age of the oldest inhabitant. ""Well sir"" replied the villager ""we ain't got one now. He died last week."""