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Joke of the Day

"I bought a muzzle for my pet duck. Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill."

"What do you call it, when you stick a bunch of noodles up your bum Pennetration"

"What do you call the hair between your grandmas boobs? Her vagina..."

"People are often shocked when I tell them I'm single because I scream it at them while sliding open their shower curtain."

"What's a loli's favourite car? A Niisan."

"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms."

"Had sex with my nephew's English teacher. Texted her the next day ""Last nite was grate. Your so awsome!"" so I don't have to see her again."

"Just realized that I'm technically a vegan for the hours between dinner & breakfast. No wonder I feel so fucking superior all the time"

"Thank you for calling ELVIS Direct Press 1 for the money 2 for the show"

"It's called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I'd of sent a bloody letter"