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Joke of the Day

"It's called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I'd of sent a bloody letter"

"What does a sign on a out-of-business brothel say? Beat it, we're closed."

"I have a split personality No he doesn't"

"What do terrorists say to their sister? H'Isis"

"The designer of the generic ""Advice Animals"" font changed the internet. One might say he made quite an impact."

"A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says, ""Dad, can I have fifty dollars?"" The father looks at him and says, ""Forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?"""

"My girlfriend thinks I'm a gentleman for waiting for her to go inside before I drive away. When really I'm just letting out about 6 hours' worth of farts."

"What is Chris Brown's new girlfriends' name? Beats Me"

"I am so lazy that when I dropped the soap in the shower, I just sat down & took a bath. That was 2 hours ago. I'm still here."

"Two nuns riding Down a cobbled road on bicycles. First one says to the other, ""I've never come this way before."" The other nun replies, ""neither have i, it's probably the cobbles."""