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Joke of the Day

"Hey Girl Scout, let your mom handle my cookie transaction. I don't have all day to watch you practice math."

"How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast? He foamed at the mouth."

"Knock knock... (**WARNING OFFENSIVE**) Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET YOU SON A OF A BITCH!"

"If Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God... Did Mary have a little lamb?"

"What's the most powerful part of a french tank Reverse gear"

"How hungry do you have to be to eat feces? ...just hungry enough to get McDonald's."

"[telling a scary story to a group of moths] and when she opened the door..[holds flashlight to face] she- AH GET OFF OF ME YOU GUYS"

"""You know what people really want to see? Season after season of a guy drinking his own piss."" - Discovery Channel executive"

"What did Cinderella say while waiting for her photos? Someday my prints will come"

"I got fired from my job at Pepsi I tested positive for Coke"