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Joke of the Day

"""You know what people really want to see? Season after season of a guy drinking his own piss."" - Discovery Channel executive"

"Yes, life is meaningless, but some of the food is decent."

"Teacher: I'd like to go through one whole day without having to tell you off. Pupil: You have my permission !"

"Strangers have the best candy."

"I hear Ireland's the richest country in the world... Its capital is always Dublin."

"Web Designer: ""Making my shit responsive, is a pain in the ass"" friend who is a web designer dropped that ""gem""."

"A businessman comes into work distraught, wearing a bloody suit.NSFW A coworker asks him, ""What happened to your tie?"" He responds, ""I had to kill that whore because she had a freaking dick."""

"I saw a lizard and it became a spotted lizard"

"Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere."

"I asked my redneck friend what he thought of the Trans-Pacific Partnership He said that as long as they don't marry, then he's okay with it."