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Joke of the Day

"Edward Scissorhands was beaten mercilessly by the school bully, Edward Rockhands"

"I only shave half my face in case that I get arrested so that they will have two different side profile pictures."

"[NSFW] Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year."

"A couple are talking Her: Come over. Him: I'm coming over. Her: We should really stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."

"Who doesn't like a hot date? A necrophiliac."

"What did the first stop light say to the second stop light? Don't look I'm changing"

"The Commonwealth Games: For when you can't win an Olympic medal."

"If Romney wins I will punch a basket of newborn kittens one by one. Do you want that, America? Do you want kittens to get punched?"

"I'd call you a cunt but you lack the warmth and depth"

"Nice truck! Sorry about your small d^i^i^i^i^k"