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Joke of the Day
"[NSFW] Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year."
Next Joke
"A woman who's PMSing and a terrorist... What is the difference between a woman who is PMSing and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist."
"What do you call a Mexican that jerks off a lot. FAPPI-CHINO"
"""Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."" Me, to my empty bag of Oreos."
"If the Mayans have taught us anything, it is that if you don't finish something, it's not the end of the world."
"My drug dealer cracks me up."
"I'm gonna start giving bad news to people in that cute, high pitched voice I use to talk to kids and dogs."
"I asked a few girls if they wanted to have a foursome... They said no. So I forced them"
"Funny One Liner! If you don't have friends, just tell a woman that you love her and she says that we're just friends."
"Law of attraction to females If I had a nickel for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive."