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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy that was half Black and half Japanese ... ... every December 7th he would attack Pearl Bailey."

Next Joke
 
"ONLY text me in an emergency. Like my car's shooting flames from the trunk, one of my exes dies eventfully, or if someone thinks I'm sexy."
"Proof that upside-down and/or opposites world and/or country exists! Every joke, irrespective of the degree of hilarity, will get down votes! XD"
"*calls mom* ""Ma I made 3 friends on twitter today"" *long pause* ""Mom?"" *mom stares at 3 fake twitter accounts she made, fights tears* ""Mom?"""
"What do batman and 16 atoms of sodium have in common? Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na"
"When the UPS guy hands you that pad where you digitally sign your name, you can put anything. Today I put ""lame shorts"" and nothing happened"
"BREAKING NEWS Ne ws"
"I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well."
"I couldn't afford a vanity license plate, so I named my dog 956 XDM."
"When I said ""I hope you die,"" I was actually being really thoughtful. Do you really want to experience the unending burdens of immortality?"