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Joke of the Day

"The difference between ""Girlfriend"" and ""Girl Friend"" is that little space in between we call the ""Friend Zone""."

"A teacher walks into a bar Guy: can I buy you a drink? Teacher: I don't know, CAN you?"

"Jamie Oliver says there's ""nothin worse in the world than an undercooked green bean"" I'll go out on a limb & say he doesn't watch the news."

"What's accounting? Something Italians learn in preschool."

"What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin? Countdown This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share."

"[dinner at brother's house] ""So where are the kids?"" Brother: I grounded them. *spits out meatloaf*"

"[watching porn] This is crazy! He delivered that pizza like half an hour ago. *cups hands over mouth* IT'S GETTING COLD! IT'S GETTING COLD!"

"I had my stag do in Amsterdam. To remember the occasion my mates got me a sweater. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, however."

"The only time I've ever been a priority is when I paid extra for shipping."

"This cat poop tastes like I'm about to get yelled at. -- Dogs"