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Joke of the Day
"When I can't tell someone's gender, I kick the closest toddler and see how they react."
Next Joke
"I said to my girlfriend, ""Do you want to experiment with a role-play rape fantasy?"" She said, ""**NO!**"" I said, ""*That's the spirit!*"" Jimmy Carr"
"My kid keeps getting his pants leg wrapped in the chain of his bike, it's a vicious cycle."
"How are wives like cholesterol? If you ignore them for too long they'll probably end up killing you"
"I'm not a good cook. At Christmas my family got together and bought me a stove that flushes."
"What does Mrs. Potato Head call her husband's penis? The Dick-tater."
"*looks through telescope* *telescope thinks you're looking at him and waves* *you wave at Jupiter behind* *telescope awkwardly lowers hand*"
"""Where do babies come from?"" Asked the little boy... Perplexed, his dad answers ""well they come from the store, son."" Kid looks at him with disgust and goes ""eww you had sex with the store?"""
"From my History class about elections: If a country is 80% Hindu and 20% Muslim, who wins? The USA"
"I got fired from my job at the sperm bank. I guess you can't keep saying ""Get a load of this guy"" every time someone walks in."