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Joke of the Day

"You love him. Your parents approve him. He buys you flowers and chocolate. He wrote you a poem that rhymes ""wood"" with ""food."""

"What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa? A good start."

"me: siri, clear my evening appointments, i've got a date tonight. siri: ""lol yeah ok. beep boop beep. gotcha."""

"Zombie apocalypses suck. Everything comes back to bite you!"

"Dad's last words ""Why hello, Serious, my name's..."""

"""It's been a business doing pleasure with you."" - Prostitutes"

"I couldn't see my dad anymore after his sex change. He's transparent."

"Splinters are woods way of sexual assault They can go deep inside you, and the bigger they are, the more it hurts."

"My wife walked in on me and found me f***ing our daughter... I didn't know what she found more disturbing, the fact I was f***ing our daughter, or that the abortion clinic sold me her fetus."

"Pretty upset to find out that salmonella poisoning has nothing to do with a vindictive fish named Ella."