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Joke of the Day

"""The police are looking for a man with one eye named Murphy."" ""What's the other eye called?"""

"I just found spaghetti in our heating ducts if any of you were thinking of having children."

"Why does the Fonz dress up as an insect when going on a journey? Because he wants to get from ayy to bee."

"*sees a tweet i don't like from a person i follow voluntarily on a free website* I am entitled to compensation"

"Poor humpty dumpty... If only he had a hot bath before the accident he still would have been here today."

"Call me a stun gun Because I'm going to shock you with a bad joke."

"You know, I always really liked Meatloaf I've never had any beef with him"

"[interview] ""Describe yourself in 5 words."" me: Salacious. Professionally sensual. HR compliant."

"In the old days when people knocked on the door, you could hide. Now you have to disconnect from internet and turn off cell phones."

"Q: How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, ""man, I could do that!"""