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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because my tires look like donuts? Cop: Get out"

"Guard: what do you want for your last meal? Me: anything? Guard: anything Me: the warden Guard: oooooo he ain't gonna like that..."

"What is your best lawyer joke? I need some new material for the court house."

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? I don't recommend it, it's quite time consuming."

"Sex is a great way to get rid of stress, so go f*ck yourself and calm down"

"Every time I get a birthday card with money in it, I pretend not to notice the money and ""read"" the card."

"This company is like a ship with a hole in the bottom, leaking water. And my job is to get the ship pointed in the right direction."

"Ask me if I'm a fire truck."

"Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable."

"My sister and I decided that we want to start our own businesses. She's going to open a furniture store called 'Sofa King' and I'm going to open a soup restaurant next door called 'Stew Pit'."