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Joke of the Day

"Why was the Egyptian queen so grumpy? Because, she was on her pyramid!"

"Did you hear about the guy who threw a tree at Donald Trump? He missed; I guess you really can't stump the Trump."

"The bigger issue about the Hobby Lobby decision is the fact that people working in a craft store are getting laid more than I am."

"I just saw two guys high five. What the hell? I thought we got rid of these people."

"A Korean walks into a bar and orders a drink The bartender looks him over and says, ""Aren't you a Lee Ul-Yung to be drinking?"""

"Wife: I'll just have a salad. Waiter: and for you, sir? Me: I'll be giving her half of my food."

"I saw a black man walking with a TV... ...I thought, ""Hey, that's mine!!"" But then I remembered, mine was tied up in the backyard."

"What do you call someone who never farts in public? A PRIVATE TUTOR"

"""Do you love me more than you love sleep?"" ""I can't answer now. It's time for my nap!"""

"My 3yo's bedtime stories include: ""Three-Hour Run-On Sentence,"" followed by, ""Ask For a Drink 500 Times,"" and finally, ""You Skipped a Page."""