176558

Joke of the Day

"The bigger issue about the Hobby Lobby decision is the fact that people working in a craft store are getting laid more than I am."

"How do they make bras for octopi? With suction cups."

"If you haven't logged onto Facebook for awhile, Judy Ann Ross from 10th grade algebra is enjoying a chicken salad sandwich right now."

"If I got 1 for everytime a girl called me unattractive I'd be attractive"

"Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home. Ghost: Why don't you take a train. Monster: I did once but my mother made me give it back."

"how many apples does it take to make a pie? 3.14159265358979323846....."

"When I was a kid we were so poor... I had to jerk off the dog to feed the cat."

"I threw a parking cone at someone. I am the drunkest person in the United states."

"What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn? You can't play football with the remote."

"What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire."