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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who never farts in public? A PRIVATE TUTOR"

"I hate jokes about jewish people because my grandpa died in auschwitz! he got drunk and fell off the watchtower...."

"When I go to a restaurant, I stare at the menu for 10 minutes, and then order the exact same thing I did the last 20 times I've been there."

"Why do squirrels swim on their back? To keep their nuts dry."

"My friend got jailed 6 months for pulling 4 people out of a burning building. Turns out they were firefighters."

"Misunderstood gift! My lesbian neighbours gave me a rolex for my birthday. Really sweet of them, but i think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch"""""

"I dumped my gf as she had OCD Odorous Cunt Discharge"

"Why female sys-admins restart systems more often then men? Because they love those new boots!"

"My girlfriend said she needs some time and distance. Is she calculating velocity?"

"Why can't americans play LoL? They can't guard their towers."