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Joke of the Day

"TIL why windows skipped a number going from Windows 8.1 to Windows 10 Because 7 8 9"

"Q: How do you make a peanut laugh? A: You crack it up."

"Your honor, may I approach the bench? Judge: You may *benches 200lbs in 3 sets of 20 reps* The defense rests"

"What did the hookers left leg say to the right leg? Between you and me, we can make a lot of money."

"How did the mermaid prostitute make all her money? Blue whales"

"What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it."

"In Heaven, the angels asked God where he would spend his next vacation. Definitely not earth, God said. Last time I went there, I got a girl pregnant and they still haven't stopped taking about it."

"How do you say, Richard and Robert raped the rabbit, with no R's Dick and Bob fucked a bunny."

"The wife told me to go out and get some of those pills that will help me get an erection. You should have seen her face when I came back and gave her some diet pills."

"[first date] girl: I bet you're really cute under those glasses [removes frames/is instantly obliterated by Cyclops' optic blast]"