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Joke of the Day

"Your honor, may I approach the bench? Judge: You may *benches 200lbs in 3 sets of 20 reps* The defense rests"

"""Can I buy you a drink?"" ""I'd rather just have the money"""

"""Don't kill it!"" my friend pleaded for a spider's life inside. So I carefully trapped it in a cup, brought it outside, then stomped on it."

"Why can't you make fun of Steve Jobs' death? ... Because it's not PC"

"What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel."

"I think calling followers followers is a bit pretentious. I prefer to think of them as curious observers."

"I kicked my rear-view mirror addiction... I'm never looking back."

"Joke 2 - What weighs 15,000 pounds and combs her red hair with a fork? Princess Arielephant"

"What do we want? Race car noises. When do we want them? Neoooooooooooooooooooooow"

"[OC] Why Did the Paradox Cross the road? Because it didn't."