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Joke of the Day

"[first date] girl: I bet you're really cute under those glasses [removes frames/is instantly obliterated by Cyclops' optic blast]"

"You're a unit of power Harry ""Im a watt?"""

"Ughh so pissed off. My mail order bride is pretending she doesn't speak english just so she doesn't have to wear the jester outfit again."

"Yo momma so dumb, she wanted to try Salsa dancing but she couldn't get the jar open."

"I called a colleague inviting him to an orgy. He asked how many people will be there. I said "" if you and your wife come, there will be three of us."""

"Why was Cinderella kicked out of the football team? She ran away from the ball."

"The Friend zone. It's like being turned down for a job, then they call you a week later complaining about the person they hired."

"What is the difference between 69 and an ambush ? With 69 you see the cunt coming at you."

"I didn't really want to go to the seafood buffet... ...but I just went for the halibut"

"How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis"