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Joke of the Day

"I watched a horror porn set in a campground... It was fucking in tents."

"What do Far Cry 4 and The Big Lebowski have in common? I hate the fucking Eagles, man!"

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS."

"What did the mexican-american say when two houses landed on him? Get off me holmes!"

"Last week I had to fire my lawn maintenance workers. They just weren't cutting it."

"I've got a new job crushing coke cans. Its soda pressing."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender"

"What language do lesbians speak? Gaelic."

"Jenner If Bruce(now) Caitlyn Jenner is kidnapped, do they put his picture on the side of a half & half bottle?"

"My boss asked if I had Facebook and I said sure and gave up the link. Then she asked about twitter. After an awkward silence I said, huh?"