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Joke of the Day

"Friend: Be adventurous in the bedroom, girls love that [Later in bedroom] Me: You like that? *Lays another bear trap* You like that babe?"

"I hate when people don't watch where I'm going when I'm walking and texting."

"What do you call a berry with a sore throat? A raspberry!"

"I created the friend zone defense in basketball. You basically just compliment the other guys but never make a move."

"What did the children with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer"

"Commentator just said that the rain ""may just be the tears of a heartbroken nation,"" which shows a fundamental misunderstanding of rain."

"What do you call a black cop? Suicidal."

"Me: Alexa, are you listening even when I don't say 'Alexa'? Alexa: No, I only listen when you say 'Alexa'. M: Thanks A: Welcome M: Hey!"

"A man is buying an apple, a banana, and two eggs. The female cashier says: ""You must be single."" The man answers: ""Wow, how did you know?"" Cashier: ""Because you're ugly."""

"I drink my alcohol responsibly...spilling is not an option"