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Joke of the Day

"This will make you groan.. I like to travel a lot, and last year I flew and visited Hiroshima, Japan. It was fairly cold that day so it wasn't the best day, but it wasn't the worst...."

"I bought a book on how to build stairs Its a step by step guide"

"If Kristen Stewart played the daughter in Taken, Liam Neeson would probably just let the bad guys have her."

"Oh, I'm just in the bathroom stall, standing on the toilet. So yeah, it's 4/20 & I'm totally high on pot."

"I asked my wife if it was still necessary to get her a card for valentines day even after 5 years of marriage. She said yes and the only card she wanted was VISA."

"Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on stage? They give meaty performances - especially if they are in their prime!"

"I haven't gotten laid all year and its not even 2017 yet"

"Relationship status: Sitting in Home Depot parking lot, car hood open, and asking men if they can jump me."

"I finally got some me time away from the kids. Two whole hours. It would've been longer but my legs went numb crouching behind the dryer."

"Democrats are the sexiest party... Because no one wants some elephant"