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Joke of the Day

"Oh no! I forgot to refrigerate this German sausage! Now it's totally become a spoiled brat."

"Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made."

"It's all fun and games until you find the Twitter crush who catfished you is infact your husband"

"What do Pokemon Go and Tinder have in common? Both give you a good chance of catching something"

"Why did the elephant paint his balls green? Answer: to hide in avocado trees.. How did Tarzan die? Answer: Picking avocados"

"Remember that time when you didn't call, & a giraffe round house kicked your neck, & you fell off a merry-go-round & died?nnSo sad. Really."

"My man wants me to understand him better so I'm not getting my mustache waxed this month."

"You're riding a horse, a giraffe is running next to you and a lion is chasing you. What do you do? Get your drunk as off the carousel."

"What do American beers and Sex in a Canoe have in common? They are both fucking close to water!"

"Internet dating? No thanks. I like the internet, but I don't like like the internet."