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Joke of the Day

"Vine is shutting down I might actually make more in a year than a vine star does in a week."

"SON: I'm moving out as soon as I turn 18 and you can't stop me. ME: [pumping fist] If you insist."

"If I see you wearing those toe shoes, I will call the police and give them your description every time a crime is reported on the news."

"An Exam paper walks into a bar. An Exam paper walks into a bar, sits down and says, ""So, bartender, what will I have?""."

"Christopher Walken should make a Christmas album called ""In a Winter Wonderland"""

"What do you call a math class full of SJW's? Triggernometry."

"I too found a safe at work and tried opening it... Bank security guard fired at me and police arrested me. It was not safe for me."

"I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila."

"How do you turn your dishwasher into a snow plow? Give her a shovel"

"We are a generation away from having grandpas named Skyler and Landon and it's all of your faults."