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Joke of the Day

"I told my parents to put their Euros in my UK bank account, just in case. It didn't work."

"What do you call a pushy aquatic mammal? Press'n Seal"

"What is Trump's favourite movie? Wall-E."

"I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my phone so you can shut the hell up about your ""scary"" battle at Normandy, grandpa."

"I don't even have a theory where Malaysia is."

"What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War? Juan down, a million more to go."

"Where do Muslims go on a weekend? To Mecca Bingo."

"If you're clever, what do you call a german waffle house? Luftwaffle!"

"Mad Max: Fury Road fans never actually watched the movie they WITNESSED it."

"That Chief Keef album hypnotized me earlier. I didn't even realize I was stealing from my mama purse until she paused my music."