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Joke of the Day

"They say there is safety in numbers tell that to 6 million jews"

"What's Christopher Nolan's favorite song? BBBRRAAAAAAAHHHHHMMM...'s lullaby."

"Michael J Fox got a new restaurant endorsement deal... Shakey's"

"What's the difference between men and women? Actually, there is a vas deferens between the two genders."

"Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to ""iron"" then we could do without the ironing lady. Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do without the gardener."

"I hate when I shoot someone with finger pistols but I forgot to take the safety off so nothing happened and NOW IT'S SO AWKWARD :("

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Butter ! Butter who ? Butter wrap up - it's cold out here !"

"When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say ""Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"""

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss *I have to give credit to my buddy /u/canavo for that one!"

"Why was the glass-blower forced to retire? He sucked..."