100652
Joke of the Day
"""Vini Vidi Venti"" --I came, I saw, I ordered the large coffee at Starbucks."
Next Joke
 
"I was driving down a street with a magician He turned into a driveway"
"My doctor told me I have 2 months to live So I shot him and the judge gave me 30 years"
"*Murderer points a gun at me* ""You wanna die today"" Me: ""Yeah kinda"" Murderer: *lowers gun* damn, you wanna talk about it?"
"You wanna know why me and my wife don't see eye to eye anymore after 26 years of marriage? She lost her legs so we're no longer the same height. edit: I'm sorry, I thought this was /r/antijokes"
"Wanna meet Santa's little helper?"
"What is the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds There are twenty of them"
"There's a book called ""Why Women have sex"" by Cindy Meston. The author also wrote""Why Men have sex"" but I'm guessing thats just a pamphlet."
"How do you trace a scatter plot? You give the pencil to Michael J. Fox."
"""evreytime god closes a door, he opens a window"" - me, tryimg to convince my clients their house isnt haunted"