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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you have sex after playing Assassin's Creed? Because Ubisoft"

"I haven't heard from DAEMON MAILER in years. I really hope he's okay..."

"I can honestly say that the ""Just Say No!"" approach kept me completely drug free throughout my youth. Whenever I saw a group of kids doing drugs and I asked if I could try some, they just said ""No!"""

"How do trees get onto the internet they log in"

"""Dad. Dad. DAD! Please just come home. You promised us you'd stop after Volume 46."" - Creator of NOW! That's What I Call Music's children"

"If I can make even one person laugh on here then I'm not doing my job. The job I actually get paid for."

"The hotel has a live band and my favourite song is ""We're going for a break now, we'll be back later""."

"How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb."

"What sign did the mother put up in her neighbourhood when she realized her child's IQ was below average? SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING"

"Whats the difference between a woman and a dog? Put them both in the trunk of your car, drive around the block, and see which ones happy to see you afterwards."