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Joke of the Day

"The hotel has a live band and my favourite song is ""We're going for a break now, we'll be back later""."

"Two fish are in a tank... One looks at the other and says ""how the fuck are we supposed to drive this thing?"""

"Who wrote the book The Russian Milkman? Ipul Titsky"

"Unshakable Fact # 4 Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was killed by the woman's husband."

"Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!"

"ME: For my final wish, I'd like to lose some weight. GENIE: Only way is to eat less and exercise more. ME: This is bullshit."

"Michael: It's hard for my sister to eat. Maureen: Why ? Michael: She can't bear to stop talking."

"My signature move at family dinners is waiting for someone to put their drink down at the table & then moving it when they go to the buffet."

"Did you hear about the commemorative gun they're making in honor of the democrat party and president Obama? It's called the union worker You'll over pay It never works And you can't fire it"

"one of my friends told me she's pregnant 10 weeks and 9 days pregnant."