65010

Joke of the Day

"Emperor: Luke, kill Vader and become my apprentice. Vader: But why? I've been loyal. Emperor: Have you ever listened to yourself breathe?"

"Sure, my bologna has a first name, but he's a stickler for manners so he insists we still call him Mr. Bologna."

"I believe in you. I also believe in dragons, so don't get too excited."

"Interviewer: I don't see a phone # for your reference Me: he is a duck I feed bread to at the park you will have to speak to him directly"

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead."

"How is pussy like veal? It tastes sweeter the younger it is."

"Insanity [insanity] (noun): Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results See Also: Going back to your ex"

"KIDNAPPER: Get in the van ME: Oh no thanks I'm vegetarian KIDNAPPER: Oh okay sorry *drives away* {15min later} KIDNAPPER: Wait a minute, wtf"

"What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? When you're done with the breast and thighs, the only thing left is a greasy box to put your bone in"

"What is feared by jailbirds and splits light into different colors? Prism rape."