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Joke of the Day

"Emperor: Luke, kill Vader and become my apprentice. Vader: But why? I've been loyal. Emperor: Have you ever listened to yourself breathe?"

"Prince: Rapunzel, let down your hair. Rapunzel: Hair, you'll never be beautiful, you'll always have split ends. *hair is super let down*"

"Who never gets his hair wet in the shower? A bald man."

"Why are camels considered the ships of the desert? They are full of arab semen."

"I hope no one tells the kids in Africa we have forums on our computers where we can just complain about stuff."

"A young burn victim gets new eyelids made from his foreskin! Doctors say he will be a little cockeyed."

"I would never feed you to the wolves. You're too toxic and I like dogs."

"This guy thinks I'm taking down his number, but I'm really just writing this tweet."

"Please do not throw cigarette butts into the urinals, as it makes them soggy and very hard to light -Bathroom graffiti"

"I'm often self-deprecating... But I'm not very good at it."