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Joke of the Day

"Please do not throw cigarette butts into the urinals, as it makes them soggy and very hard to light -Bathroom graffiti"

"What do you call it when thieves in a metal boat steal your fool's gold? Iron Pirate"

"Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict : Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium"

"A guy runs to your door and pleads, ""Someone's trying to kill me! Can I come in?"" How should you respond? ""I don't know. CAN you?"""

"I wear lipstick when I go into Walmart so people know I'm not approachable or one of their kind"

"Me: How was the party last night? 17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What??? 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl."

"The baby fell on the floor at breakfast this morning. Luckily, she landed butter side up, so the five second rule still applied."

"what is a painfully loud color? YELLOW!!"

"I'm not sure I understand What The Hell you're talking about....But.....you're showing cleavage, so I will listen."

"Why do girls NOT like Jesus? NSFW Because every time he gets nailed it takes him 3 days to get it back up again."