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Joke of the Day

"A young burn victim gets new eyelids made from his foreskin! Doctors say he will be a little cockeyed."

"K/D/A Stood for Kill, Death, Assist?! I thought it was short for Krillin's Dead Again!"

"Does grape jelly go bad or do I just have wine jelly now?"

"What are the only two similarities between my favorite buger joint, and the orgy I just had? Nothing but Five Guys, extra salty EDIT: Also, I can't type. Burger*"

"If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in."

"The espresso bar tech visited today... They adjusted my grind, turned up the heat, and blew out my steam wand."

"What is it called when you mix Alcohol and Literature? Tequila Mockingbird. (X-post /r/waterpuns)"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Boise ! Boise who ? Boise ivy !"

"Right off the bat Cinderella knows she's marrying a prince with a serious foot fetish."

"My wife just found out I replaced the bed with a trampoline She hit the fucking roof"