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Joke of the Day

"""Kiss me"", moaned the attractive blonde... ""Absolutely not"", replies her doctor. ""It would be most unprofessional of me. In fact, I probably shouldn't even be fucking you!"""

"I feel bad for airport security workers. I'm going to make their job easier today by not wearing underwear."

"[1st day in hell] Devil: Your damnation will be that you are a shoe model for all eternity. Me: That's it? D: *hands me orange Crocs*"

"What does the broken clock do when it gets hungry? It goes back four seconds!"

"What do you say when Kanye West does something that annoys you? Kanye not."

"The fact touche and douche don't rhyme bothers me."

"What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a picture of Jesus Christ? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ"

"What band does Santa listen to while delivering presents? Slayer."

"I feel like if Joe Biden and Kanye West were involved in a Freaky Friday scenario no one would notice for months."

"Remember when Michael Jackson hung his baby off that balcony as a goof? He's dead now."